More Questions Than Answers..

Evening all,

Had my second therapy session this evening, think I expressed myself quite well this week instead of being pensive like I had been last week, there are a awful lot of questions that I need to get out of my system. One of which being why am I'm so fucking analytical?

There are a number of reasons I suspect, one of which goes back to the time of the court case regarding the abuse. I had to watch myself being interviewed by the Police on the Isle of Wight after I disclosed that I had been violated by that bastard.  

I remember that day oh so fucking well. It was fucking dreadful! Probably the reason why I hate that 'How Bizarre' tune by OMC - as it was high in the pissing charts back then and my headteacher drove me from Sandown where I had been at the local high school doing science towards my GCSE - we headed to this centre on the outskirts of Newport, the county town of the Island - where we were met by the DC who dealt with such cases for the Hampshire constabulary back then. 

For what seemed like an eternity but was probably only four or five hours, I explained what had happened, piece by excruciating piece - breaking down on numerous occasions as I struggled to contain my emotions, but fuck I'm 14 years old at the time - so much was happening so quickly it was frightening. 

Before I knew it we were at the Police station in Newport town centre, where 

I was examined for any internal injuries, there had definitely been some interference in that area. And then it was done...

Anyway, back to the day of the court case, we watched back the interview from that cold December day and then the defence lawyer got to work on me. He ripped me to shreds, it was like I was a cunting ragdoll for him to play with, abuse almost. 

Two days later, the bastard got off. He's probably dead by now, even if the cunt had got sent down he would have been out in two years if that. It's always a worse sentence for the victims. Not only are you violated, but you're given a life sentence of images, flashbacks and feelings that remind you of those moments. 

And there is fuck all you can do, but bear it.