Evening,
Had my first session of therapy this evening which was a serious eye opener, there seems to be a awful lot that myself and the therapist are going to have to get through over the next eight weeks. There's no doubt that we're not going to get to the bottom of my issues however I am somewhat hopeful that we may start to unearth what is causing my anxiety, depression and everything that comes with it and how to combat it.
Am I'm happy that I've started this process, of course we are. There is an aspect that concerns me and that is the realisation of having to face up to the fact that what happened to me cannot be reversed. Simple as that. The therapist said that perhaps CBT therapy may not be the way forward and perhaps more of a psychoanalytical process may be more suitable due to my background. So, it is said that CBT does not take into account the sexual abuse such as I what experienced all those years back, and in some instances it can make the original condition much worse.
Hmmm.
One of the big issues is to stop it controlling my life, and having such a detrimental effect on my way of living. Easy to say I know, but that is the bottom line, it would be such a kick in the googlies to those who've supported me through thick and thin if I decided to finish it off. The abuse ended almost 20 years ago and still it's having an overwhelming influence on my life.
I said to the therapist that the victims of crime always get a life sentence. Regardless of the crime. And it's so true. Criminals who cover their tracks can get off scot free if they are clever, victims have to live with the consequences ad infinitum.
Anyway, enough moping around for one evening!
B xx
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