Evening one and all,
And so ends another Monday and another day where I've not been able to get out of bed - called work early doors and thinking to myself just when the fuck am I'm going to be able to do a full week of work - life just seems to be a continuing spill of a fucking shite right now.
Getting off the phone from the boss - I screamed and cried that I had failed yet again. Just one week, is all I fucking right now away from feeling like this.
One. Fucking. Week.
There is so many roads and avenues and tributaries to this illness at the moment - its not like where I've gone up and down like a fucking yo-yo - its been a slow, gradual and deceiving decent into the current state that I'm in.
And that's half the problem. The very thought that it may take as long for me to get out of this current hole is just gut wrenching for me. There does not seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel at this time. And so, I need to start looking at other ways to combat this.
Getting up tomorrow at a reasonable time will be a good starter. We will see whether we can do just that.
I fucking better.
B x
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