Two Sides Of The Same Coin

Afternoon,

Spending some time up my mother's - having some dinner after yet another great and successful wedding done last night - this time at Elvey Farm which was very enjoyable - the bride and groom were more than happy with the set that I did - so we can hardly complain.

However, thoughts are far, far away. The events in Sousse, Tunisia as well as France and Kuwait on Friday as well as Charleston, South Carolina last Wednesday night have bought into sharp focus the madness that continues to envelop the world and in particular two extremities. The Fascists of ISIS and White Supremacists.

Let's be abundantly clear. These bastards are on the same side of a dirty coin. They are backward, decrepit and deeply disturbed people with warped and deluded opinions. Not one columnist or commentator has had the wherewithal, courage or balls to tell it straight. These cunts want to take us back. In the case of Dylann Roof it is the time of slavery and lynchings, with ISIS, it is much further back - for me, it feels that they want to replay the Crusades - and hope for a different result.

Both groups seem to live in some sort of fucked up, dystopian alternate reality - in similar to either Timothy Mcveigh, David Copeland and David Koresh before them.

In fact in the news this week was one Zack Davies, who was found guilty of trying to kill an Sikh dentist with a machete. He classed the beheader of innocent aid workers 'Jihadi John' a Inspiration. Yep, that's right people - a racist psychopath - attempted to kill an dentist - whilst chanting 'White Power' and 'I did it for Lee Rigby' - classed an Islamic state fighter as a inspiration. In the words of Richard Littlejohn, you cannot make it up.

So there you have it. ISIS and White Supremacists. Both twisted, both nasty, both deserve to be banished to history

B xx

Loneliness Is The Elephant

Well, this is fucking bullshit isn't it. I genuinely do not have a fucking clue how the fuck we get out of this state of mind right now. Life seems to be going alright at the moment - but it just feels that it can just go fucking to shit at any moment. Probably how everyone feels right now.

The thing that truly upsets me is that I feel so low and lonely at times at the moment, and I feel that I can't show that to anyone - whether that is friends or family because they've dealt with it for so long. Almost like I'm suppressing it at the moment with nowhere for it to go. Loneliness isn't just being on your own for long durations of time to me, for me it is having a completely different mindset to everyone. Whether that is in a room, train - whatever.

Not having the same feelings and thoughts as everyone around you at that time is loneliness. Now imagine having that on a constant basis. Exactly. Not pretty.

I'm in bed right now, listening to some supposedly relaxing music trying to get my thoughts down - as that is the one way I know how to express myself without resorting to drink or drugs. Because that does fuck all to help doesn't it!

Tried to sort out an appointment with the doctors for after work today. They asked whether it was a emergency. What the fuck is a emergency? Is it a case of life and death? No, not at the moment, but give it a couple more months of feeling like this, and then who knows. Thought in the end fuck it. Just try and get on with it. The gym seems to be helping with getting my anger and shit out of me at the moment, back to doing five, one hour sessions a week for the first time for some years so - can only be a positive - and if that can help me lose a few pounds around the spare tyre, then all the better.

Anyway, got my first wedding gig of the summer coming up on Saturday, decent earner and all that - so may decide to do a spot of retail therapy come Sunday. How exciting!

Nighty Night!!

 

B xx

Decisions, Decisions

Evening all,

Some very big decisions are going to be needing to be made I think in the coming weeks - having had a conversation via Facebook with my DJing boss this morning - making it clear that he will not be playing anywhere near as many gigs as he had done prior to going off on his travels late last year. Which means that I am going to be having an extremely busy summer coming up - which cannot be a bad thing let's be honest - but it does mean that I'm going to have to make a decision on whether I'm going to make the leap of faith and quit the day job - which at times in recent weeks has sounded like a very nice prospect to be fucking honest!

I know what a fair few people are probably going to say to me, that I need to make sure that I have the money behind me before I make the jump - but I look at some people and they seem so much fucking happier than me - even without the money that I have - it is I wonder sometimes down to your individual circumstances I know - but slowly and surely I am coming to the conclusion that I need to make this call - it's is just a case now of when not if.

Just can't wait to do it!!!

B xx

One Last Thought...

The thoughts of novelist, John Grisham who complains that America is wrongly jailing far too many people for viewing child pornography - he says..

It's not porn, it's rape you fucked up sadist.

Heads up to the campaigner @mwilliamsthomas on Twitter

 

B xx