After five consecutive days at work. Guess where I am this morning?
Not at work.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
So, I'm at The Surgery, in the process of trying to find someone to fucking speak to - I'm at my fucking wits end - and feel that there is now no place - no fucking hiding place from this pissing, debilitating shitstorm.
Think of a constant evolving 31 minute Villalobos 126bpm stormer, with the bass drum throbbing on the 8 count - that's the sort of sound that's going on upstairs at the moment.
Okay that's a 21 minute remix - but you get my drift - its an ever changing consumation of rage, anger and fucking frustration - all at the same time. In one hit.
The name of the above track sums up my entire life these past few months - I have tried so hard to get through a full week's work without taking a day off because of this cunt.
ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH.
Work have been absolutely amazing - trying to make life easier for me, which is why calling in this morning was all the more difficult and frustrating for me, trying to get me to do work, which keeps me in a safe state of mind, without dealing with anything that could trigger any unwanted thoughts.
But fuck me, this bastard just doesn't know when to let up.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
And now, I'm on Ableton, working on a re-rub of Pon De Floor, more of a chilled out number - think the groove of a Carl Craig slower, and the complexity of a Christian Loffler number, with some form of Melodic feel of Petar Dundov.
Yep, I know. I'm beyond the point of return.
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