How Much More?

This is getting harder and harder to do!

 

I'm going through a stage where I'm getting more and more bored in general. Of life, everyone, the family, friends and foe - everyone - and probably most worringly of all - of myself. Bored of this thing. This thing upstairs which just does not want to leave me - and is leaving me as a empty, soulless shell of a person - which is not great for anyone.  

 

What's getting more obvious to me, and probably to nobody else is I know everyone else is getting bored of me - they just won't say anything - but I just know. And I'm bored of being bored of being like this. 

 

I can't explain how that feels - apart from you feel nothing but just constant emotional pain and torment upstairs - and even greater exasperation on your part and on behalf of everyone else.  There is elements is thinking that the best way out is the worse way out - for all concerned - at least that way I'll feel no further pain and nor would anyone else.